Archive for May, 2004

What’s Sam?

May 26th, 2004 8 comments

Well it’s time I resurfaced from MIA over the past month to shed some light on what’s up me. In the past year and a half my life has changed slowly but surely in many ways professionally and socially. I won’t bore you with the professional things but there are quite a few things from the social life. In the past 30 days my social life changed rapidly but more on that later…

I had been single now for about 1.5 years after walking away from an engagement, a beautiful wife-to-be, and a wonderful 4 1/2 year old to pursue a true personal happiness within myself. In the time that would follow I would make new acquaintenances, avoided several relationship-hopefuls, and repair myself emotionally. I met a group of young men and women that made Detroit a good place to be – they made it feel like being back in St. Louis where I grew up and knew people who knew me. I met people who made me think, who made me weak in the knees, who made me smile and frown, etc. I talked with people from one side of the globe to the other and befriended people who truly were of inspiration to me. It has been quite the journey. I’ve watched people all around me grow and transfer into new and improved individuals with new vision and focus in their lives. Others I’ve watched lose focus and hope over this time period….

The last 22 days have been the most unexpected. Not because I’ve had some really challenging days at work and doing this whole project management thing. But rather because a woman who was a absolute stranger came into my life completely from nowhere and changed things for me all around. She was undeniable and somehow we managed to sweep each other off our feet and write in large part a fairy tale of a relationship from day one. We’ve committed to each other and for the first time in a while, I’ve let someone in close unabated to see just how far things could go.

So now I find myself in a new relationship with new love and hope for future when it comes to significant others. Make no bones about it – it had to take someone truly remarkable to bring me out of sabatical, but that she is and some. She didn’t have to steal my heart – I served it up deli style to her. No disrespect to all who have come prior or wanted to. You’ve all contributed to me being the man that I am in many ways and I thank you for that. I believe often times the relationships that you learn the most from are the ones that didn’t work…

For those of you who already are aware of things that have taken place for me, thank you to the supporters, especially Ree. For you haters out there…well I won’t get out character with you on here but step off. Ebonni – keep that magic dust close and I’ll do the same 😉

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Give Thanks for Your Blessings

May 5th, 2004 2 comments

The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways but his work is always incredible. I just wanted to take a moment and give thanks for all of my blessings. Through all my highs and lows he’s never let me down and his timing is always perfect… Take a moment and give thanks to whatever gets you through the day today and flash a smile to brighten someone elses day 😉

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May 3rd, 2004 2 comments

I wasn’t really going to share the passage below but my last phone conversation of the night forced me to get up, say f-it and put it out here anyway. Today I felt a bit of disparity in my life so I picked up a pen and a pad and hand-wrote this passage earlier:


You lay on your back, cushioned by an age old couch, eyeing the slow motion revolutions of a ceiling fan’s motion. Mind filled with thoughts abundantly numerous beyond any computer’s summing capability, you skip through the days past with DVD-like controls unaware of just when was day one the recording actually began…

When the speed of the fan increases beyond that which the human eye can distinguish the individual blades, the fan disappears leaving only a subtle hint of existence. You no longer see the blades of revolution but with increased speed comes a new clarity as you look through this circular window seeing what lies beyond in a new undiscovered way.

I think about how this view parallels my life… In some ways the fan serves as a symbolic example of an unclear obstacle just out of sight but constantly looming above. In another manner it displays the dizzying effect I experience when my life races too fst spinning out of control. The only difference is the fan is always under control and can be willed by a switch on a wall to keep going or gradually come to a halt. Today I feel my life has come to a halt. I can go no further in my goals and dreams today because the required ingredients are no longer in my composition. I am empty for now and it has come time to seek replinishment for my mind, body, and soul.

And so I lay , back cushioned by an age old couch, eyeing the slow motion revolutions of a ceiling fan’s motion. Revolutions of life – Revolutions of me… As the fan will surely come full circle, so shall I, replinished and full, ready to continue actively on my journey towards the unknown…


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