I wasn’t really going to share the passage below but my last phone conversation of the night forced me to get up, say f-it and put it out here anyway. Today I felt a bit of disparity in my life so I picked up a pen and a pad and hand-wrote this passage earlier:
Revolutions…
You lay on your back, cushioned by an age old couch, eyeing the slow motion revolutions of a ceiling fan’s motion. Mind filled with thoughts abundantly numerous beyond any computer’s summing capability, you skip through the days past with DVD-like controls unaware of just when was day one the recording actually began…
When the speed of the fan increases beyond that which the human eye can distinguish the individual blades, the fan disappears leaving only a subtle hint of existence. You no longer see the blades of revolution but with increased speed comes a new clarity as you look through this circular window seeing what lies beyond in a new undiscovered way.
I think about how this view parallels my life… In some ways the fan serves as a symbolic example of an unclear obstacle just out of sight but constantly looming above. In another manner it displays the dizzying effect I experience when my life races too fst spinning out of control. The only difference is the fan is always under control and can be willed by a switch on a wall to keep going or gradually come to a halt. Today I feel my life has come to a halt. I can go no further in my goals and dreams today because the required ingredients are no longer in my composition. I am empty for now and it has come time to seek replinishment for my mind, body, and soul.
And so I lay , back cushioned by an age old couch, eyeing the slow motion revolutions of a ceiling fan’s motion. Revolutions of life – Revolutions of me… As the fan will surely come full circle, so shall I, replinished and full, ready to continue actively on my journey towards the unknown…
Revolutions.