Default Case

I’m Not Your Default Case…..

While having a conversation with a friend recently regarding my poem “Like An Orange”, the thought popped into my mind of how many men and women treat the courting process like what is referred to as a “case statement” in the software programming world. Let me explain for those of you who have no idea what that means 🙂

A case statement is simply a way to evaluate something against many different “cases” searching for one that matches what you are looking for. When you come across the first case that matches your criteria, you then proceed to follow the instructions associated with that particular case, disregarding all of the other cases. In the event that none of the cases match our criteria we must still take some action so we proceed to what is called the “default case”, which you could consider to be a sort of backup plan.

The parallel to dating and relationships lies in someone having an idea of what they want in a potential mate. As they proceed through (date) different cases (potential mates) they evaluate them to see if they meet their criteria, hoping that one of the cases sooner than later will match allowing them to proceed on executing further instructions within that case.

Unfortunately, all too often people evaluate a premature number of cases finding no match and then proceed to their default statement. No this default statement could be defined in many ways but what bothers me is when this default statement doesn’t instruct one to continue to better themselves, be prepared, and have faith, but rather to compromise settling for something that better than nothing…. Hence this is why I proclaim “I’m not your default case.”

I am not and will not be the other half of a woman who has simply exhausted the number of men she is willing to date in search of her dream man, compromising her integrity settling for me because I’m a “good man”. Would you want to play for a coach who picked you last to play for his/her team? I think not.

When I put a woman on my team she needs to understand that she’s the franchise player and all others are now free-agents 🙂 lol. I consider myself that type of player so just like Allen Iverson, I refuse to come of the bench….

I may not be case #1, nor do I think I would want to be, and I may not be the last case, but just remember that “I’m not your default case.”

The point is simple – don’t cheat yourself due to a lack of faith, confidence, self-esteem, integrity, or patience. Know what you want and don’t compromise without good reason. No one’s perfect out there but there’s someone perfect for each of us….

Week in Mexico

Well after spending all of last week in Mexico City (yes in Mexico), there is plenty of things that have been on my mind to share on this site. I doubt I’ll ever really capture all that I would like to say about my trip but oh well…. I personally thought it was a big step for me professionally to get out of the country on a business trip to a place where English was NOT the predominant language. Even moreso, I felt the experience would be good for me personally as well.

I truly enjoyed the trip and the whole experience even though most moments were definitely spent working either at the Ford Cuautitlan Assembly Plant or working from the hotel during the wee hours of the night. I took in all that I could – food, sight, culture, etc. The people were good to me and left with new friends professionally and personally.

My Spanish held up pretty decent and there were only a few times where the person I was communicating with had trouble communicating with me. I like many of them understood the foreign language better written rather than spoken. I was surprised to find that when I spoke English to some Mexicans they didn’t understand but if I wrote/typed in English they could understnad well.

The Mexican Ford plant was quite different than the U.S. plants I’ve been to offering much more on the outside versus the U.S. It was almost like being in a beautiful park rather than a place full of steel, rubber, and paint.

When, I was graduating from college I was pursuing career opportunities not only in the U.S., but also outside the States in places like the United Kingdom and other parts of Western Europe. I imagine the road I have journeyed would even be more interesting had one of those opporunities came through for me. Not that I have any regrets about where I am now….

My life with all it has and all it lacks is a wonderful one I wouldn’t trade for anything. I am appreciative of all of the adversity and prosperity that have come my way because it truly has helped build my character.

I’m looking forward to what’s next on my agenda, but in the meanwhile, I better get caught up on expense reports, bills, etc. – lol 🙂

We Don’t Want It….

We don’t really want love in our lives…the kind that makes you unselfish and giving to the fullest, eager and willing to go above and beyond our best intentions, undoubtedly delegating our lives to someone/something else with no knowledge of the risks or sacrifice required to truly have it. So we spend time convincing ourselves of exactly one zillion reasons why we can’t love RIGHT NOW. Our money isn’t right… We haven’t lived to the fullest as individuals yet… Too young… Too old… Blah Blah Blah – There’s a ring to all of this that we all know is just some bullsh&t because we are scared, selfish, unfulfilled, unsatisfied in our desire, and overall inadequately prepared to have the love we speak of really in our lives. In the face of love many of us are COWARDS. Love is love. It’s not patience; it’s not sacrifice, etc. It is what it is. Patience is patience. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Love is love. When love has succumbed you, nothing else will matter and timelines will be rendered meaningless. The rules will be broken and you will be a hyprocrit of your own making. Love conquers all, including you…and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. Just as we all meet our maker so shall we have a date with our love. It’s waiting for you, but YOU REALLY DON’T WANT IT.